Adam George Sanders, time of death: 2:33am

Cause of death: Blood loss, heart failure.

[[See Josh's post. I'm getting lazy: www.x-stopandstare.livejournal.com/44909.html ]]

Adam Sanders was found trapped in his the bathroom of his room shortly after 11pm on December 29th by his current doctor, Dr. James Euringer. He has been admitted to the infirmary until further notice, and will be on constant suicide watch until the perceived risk is passed.

( I think I'm losing my mind... )

[[ooc: okay, frankly i'm too tired and too lazy to write out anything longer than this, and either way it would be rather pale in comparison to the epic that is Kami's chronicle posts. But it gives you the general jist and thats all I was after. ]]

Hear the voices in my head, I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored, then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me

I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot, cos I'm in hell


N x

Alex helped me move all my stuff around, which was nice =)
Then they moved me into a single room, but I don't know why. I think someone told the new doctors about what happened that time with Reita. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't know I'd done it.

So if you try and find me in my old room, Alex. I'm in a new one now. I'll tell you where it is. I don't want everyone knowing

Addy xox

Uhm. I got this weird email from this lady I don't know.

I don't have a bank account...but maybe someone else does?

I don't know. I just think I should help her or something..

( The letter... )

Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me.
If you kiss me, mister, I might tell my sister.
If I tell her, mister, she might tell my mother and my
mother, mister, she might tell my father and my father,
mister, he won't be too happy and he'll have his lawyer
come up from the city and arrest you, mister,
so I wouldn't miss me if you get me, mister, see?

Missed me, missed, me now you've got to kiss me.
If you kiss me, mister, you must think I'm pretty.
If you think so, mister, you must want to fuck me.
If you fuck me, mister, it must mean you love me.
If you love me, mister, you would never leave me
it's as simple as can be!

Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me.
If you miss me, mister, why do you keep leaving
if you trick me, mister, I will make you suffer
and they'll get you, mister, put you in the slammer and forget
you, mister, then you'll miss me won't you, miss me
won't you miss me?

Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me.
if you kiss me, mister, take responsibility.
I'm fragile, mister, just like any girl guy would be
and so misunderstood so treat me delicately.

Missed me, missed me, now you've gone and done it,
hope you're happy in the county penitentiary
it serves you right for kissing little girls other boys, but I will visit, if you miss me.
Say you miss me.
How's the food they feed you?
Do you miss me?
Will you kiss me through the window?
Do you miss me, miss me?
Will they ever let you go?
I miss my mister so.

Roarke played violin for me. It was nice, and it reminded me of home. Well, the good parts anyway. He's seriously amazing, you should all go listen.
Other than that, I've been a bit lonely recently to be honest. I miss Charlie, but I don't think he really wants to see me.
Room 105, north wing.
If anyone wants to talk.
Adam xx

This place isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. I mean, the people here are friendly (mostly), the doctors are alright. Speaking of which, I need a new one. The last on e was…mean to me. I'd appreciate it if the next one didn’t try and force me to tell him what my uncle did to me. All you need to know is he is called Reverend John Sanders and I don’t want him to find me here.
He’s going to be so so mad when he finds me. I don’t want to see him when he’s mad. So, if no one clues him up, I'd be grateful. He’d never look here anyway; he lives in New Jersey. That’s where I thought I was at first, but then someone told me I was actually in a hospital so I dunno.
I’ve been having a lot of these black outs recently, and I don’t really know whats going on. It really confuses me, cause a load of people that I haven’t met say that they have met me and it’s freaky. Maybe I have amnesia or something?
How dumb is that, I don’t even know why I got sent here. I feel a bit stupid to be honest. Seems like everyone else knows.

I’m Adam Sanders, and I'd like to meet some new people, so I’ll stick my screen name up here and maybe I’ll make some new friends?

AdamxNeedsxHelp

Adam xox

Yes, post number two for the day

This time its my mangy kitty



He's called Boris. Little shit for shourt
Occasionally fucker.

If you find him, please return.
He's evil really, don't be deceived.

I had a pretty massive epiphany today.
I have
REALLY
skinny
ankles.

Go figure huh?
This means AMUSE ME!!!
If i am at the point of boredom where i pick up on these things, then I need more fun in my life!


Come on darlings, I know you got more in you than that.

J-tard
Just forget all the shit I babbled on about that day, okay? It was just the mindless ramblings of a stoned mental patient. It didn’t mean anything.

Bam
Thanks for the drink man, hope you had fun after I left ;]

Ehren
I love love love love spending time with you. You are like, my high buddy now…forever. And everything else ain’t so bad either =)


It’s taking over. Its all darkness now. There isn’t a shred of the real me left any more, because I rarely manage to get control any more. What is the point in being Adam Sanders, if I can barely remember any of my day? It’s too strong. I try to control it and its like it’s fighting back. I can’t seem to make these blanks go away.
They’re just getting bigger.


Its funny, cause some of you still have no idea whats going on. I could probably threaten to kill myself in this post and I'd still be ignored, maybe bar three people.
But whatever. Suicide is so over rated these days anyway.

I’m out lovelies, don’t miss me too much.
N xx

Jeffree’s fun to play with. So’s Ehren. They’re just like me.

Yes guys, I’m giving up the façade. I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m just skinny. Really, I eat like a horse and I don’t really give a fuck.
I’m Nathan Sanders, born Adam Sanders. They said that I was the side he repressed when…well, that’s his story to tell I guess. I know about him, but he doesn’t know about me. So if you know me and meet him, and he doesn’t recognise you, that’s why. But be nice, okay? He’s fragile. I think he’s hiding things from me (Only Lord knows how) because I had a few black outs too, but just…treat him carefully, okay? He doesn’t need to get hurt again, especially when he’s as trusting as he is. And besides. I see everything that he does. And I’m a lot more likely to kick your ass than he is.

Thank you darlings,
N xx

PS. Anyone with pot/other? Come see me. We can party ;)

So am I going into isolation or not? I’m so confused now it’s not even funny. Fucking doctors in here, this shit is ridiculous.
Anyway, onto more interesting things. Namely, who in here actually likes to have fun? Because as of yet I’ve only found…what three of you in here. Room 105, north wing. Come see me darlings.

N xx

I need a doctor. I can’t walk properly but I don’t know what happened. I just, I was with Reita and he was getting mad and then I was outside Charlie’s room and my hands had blood on them and I couldn’t have killed him cause he... No. I didn’t kill him.
I don’t know what’s happening. The blank spaces are getting bigger. I’m scared that soon they’re going to take over completely. And then where will that leave me?

Nowhere, that’s where.

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?

Charlie Hunnam
there are too many blank spaces and you can't possibly fill them

This makes more sense to me than you know.